The first option was to continue with the pregnancy with more frequent check-ups and ultrasounds to monitor her progress. We were told it would mean two immediate surgeries when she was born. One surgery would repair the lesion on her spinal cord and the other would place a shunt in her head (sort of like a drainage tube from her head to her belly) to relieve the hydrocephalus. The second option was to look into experimental surgery. At the time, three hospitals in the country were performing in-utero surgery, meaning while the mother is still pregnant. This procedure means performing a C-section during the pregnancy, repairing the lesion on the baby’s spinal cord, and then placing the baby back inside the uterus. There is great risk with this procedure without a lot of proven benefits. Then the doctor said, “There is one more option we haven’t discussed.” That is as far as he got. Andy and I quickly responded in unison, “That isn’t an option.” The doctor never mentioned it again. The “option” the doctor never had a chance to mention was abortion. About a year before this moment in my life, I may have responded differently. I once was pro-choice, or as I think of it now, pro-abortion. I think a lot of women hold this view for selfish reasons or to escape personal responsibility. I know that was my reason. I didn’t want anyone to tell me what to do or not to do. And if something gets “messed up,” we want to blame someone else or want someone else to fix the problem. I am so glad my mind was made very clear on this topic well before I was faced with the circumstances.

What made me change my mind? Three things: (1) The birth of my first daughter Ellie, (2) God’s Word, and (3) education. I saw the miracle of life while pregnant with Ellie. At the very first ultrasound at nine weeks of pregnancy, Ellie had arms and legs that were moving all around. Her heart could be seen beating. There was life inside me. I didn’t even “feel” pregnant. It didn’t seem like reality until I saw her on the ultrasound screen. During the rest of the pregnancy, I read books and took birthing classes. I was in awe of the beauty going on inside of me. Everything is so well planned. It can’t be an accident that we were created. At the same time, I had just recently come to know Christ as my Savior and began reading the Bible and listening to sermons and Sunday School lessons. When you truly believe, you learn to put God first. I began following the Bible and God’s Word -- not following what society says is right or wrong. “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” (Jeremiah 1:5) “Your eyes saw my substance being yet unformed. And in your book, they were all written. The days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.” (Psalms 139:16) “I am your creator. You were in my care even before you were born.” (Isaiah 44:2) God doesn’t make mistakes. He was giving Katie to us as part of His perfect plan. Also, I educated myself. I had heard the term “abortion,” but never really understood what happens in the procedure. The following description is gruesome, but very important to understand this issue completely. In the dilation and evacuation method, the baby’s body parts are torn off the baby with a long-toothed clamp, one-by-one, until just the head remains. Then the head is grasped and crushed in order to finally remove it from the mother. To me, this is clearly murder. I am so grateful my opinion on this topic was changed before the birth of Katie. It just kills me inside to think that had I not known Christ before the birth of Katie that I might have made another choice, and my beautiful, inspiring little Katie would not be here today. Katie has brought an unbelievable amount of joy to our lives in ways that a perfectly healthy child could not. I learned from Katie how to put my trust in God and to not worry. “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11) My husband’s father, Jack, who is completely deaf, wrote us a letter shortly after the spina bifida diagnosis. In it, he reminded us of a woman named Helen Keller. I am sure that name sounds familiar to you, too. Would you know her name if she had been able to see, hear and talk? Would she have inspired so many people? Just because someone has a disability does not mean that person is not able to succeed and to touch the lives of others. Believe me, Katie has already inspired more people in her five years on earth than most people inspire in a lifetime. She is the current Little Miss Wheelchair Arkansas, plays baseball with the Miracle League, dances in dance recitals, and sings and tells jokes to anyone who will listen. In my third pregnancy with my daughter Zoe (which stands for “life”), we made use of the new 4-D ultrasound technology to take a look at Zoe in the womb. We were amazed at the details at week 29 of the pregnancy and even more amazed when we compared the ultrasound with the picture of Zoe at birth. I’ve since had a fourth child, Courtney. All four children have such different personalities. I know God created them the way they are for a special reason. I continue to learn so much about life through them.

The Bible tells us numerous times that God looks at us as His children. As a parent, I am reminded many times how God must feel as He tries to teach me right from wrong. I am so grateful He is a forgiving and patient Father. If you have had an abortion, please know God is there to forgive. In John 8, we learn about the woman who was about to be stoned to death because she committed adultery. Jesus told the crowd, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” (John 8:7) No one threw a rock. But then Jesus went on to tell the woman to “go and sin no more.” (John 8:11) He doesn’t condemn her for her past actions, but He also doesn’t condone what she has done, nor does He say it is OK to continue. He says don’t do it again. In other words, learn your lesson. Statistics show one in four women will have an abortion. In Arkansas, more than 5,000 babies are aborted each year. I hope to educate women that abortion is not the answer. However, if a woman has had an abortion, I hope she will ask God for forgiveness, and then will help stop others from making the same mistake undergoing this gruesome act. I also encourage you to contact Save One, a ministry that leads those who chose abortion to spiritual, emotional and physical healing. For more information go to www.saveone.org or contact Melissa Ring at (501) 258-8237. If you are ever faced with the decision to keep a child or not, I pray you will choose life. If you are having trouble with this decision, there are numerous resources to help you. Please call Arkansas Right To Life at (501) 663-4237, and they can direct you to a pregnancy resource center near you. And perhaps the next time you or someone you know is expecting, you will think twice about saying, “boy or girl, it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s healthy,” because you will know that all life is precious... no matter the packaging.